Chairman and Chief Executive Gregg Steinhafel wrote to employees on Thursday to say the company was “genuinely sorry” that the donation upset some employees.

Steinhafel also said Target would set up a review process for future political donations.

Target gave $150,000 to MN Forward, a group that is running ads for a Republican gubernatorial candidate who opposes gay marriage.

Though there is a stay on the decision, and most likely will go all the way to the Supreme Court…but it is reason to celebrate…

From the Advocate:

In a highly anticipated decision with potentially far-reaching implications in the national battle over gay marriage, a federal judge has struck down California’s Proposition 8.

Walker issued a stay of the judgment, however, pending a motion to stay by the defendants, who have said they will appeal the decision. In a Tuesday letter to Walker, attorney Charles J. Cooper wrote that another “window of same-sex marriage in California would cause irreparable harm.” Read more here from the Advocate

Update: The White House responds to today’s Prop 8 ruling: “The President has spoken out in opposition to Proposition 8 because it is divisive and discriminatory. He will continue to promote equality for LGBT Americans.”

Rasha Spindel Photo by Rosemary Ragusa

Could you give me a little bit about your background – I know you grew up in Hawaii, and how you came to Portland.

I was born and raised in beautiful Honolulu, Hawai’i. It was the best place in the world to grow up being from such a diverse family. My Mom, Fauna Hodel, wanted to raise my sister and I in a place that was a melting pot of cultures. My sister and I have different fathers. Her father is African American, and my father is a European Mutt, so our Mom raised my sister, Yvette, and I to accept everyone, and to never see color, race, sexual orientation, or even size. I went back and forth between the home with my Mom, Aunty Liliane, and sister, and the home with my father and step-mother from the time I was 5. I was raised in a Hawaiian culture on my Mom’s side, and since my step-mother is Japanese, a very Asian upbringing with my father’s side. My step-mother was offered a position with the Oregon Government my senior year of high school in 1997, so we moved to Portland. Luckily, my sister had moved here to model as well, so I had a built in support system when I arrived. My father and step-mother moved back to Hawai’i after getting homesick, so I ended up following my sister to L.A. at the end of 1998. I ended up coming back to Portland in 2003 when I signed with Q6 Model & Artist Management soon after I got engaged to my now ex-husband. I go home to the islands to visit often, though. Being from Hawai’i, it never leaves you.

What was your childhood like being plus-size?

Growing up in Hawai’i, being taller than everyone else, and curvier than everyone else, I stuck out. I have been curvy my entire life, and I always wanted to “fit in” with all of my tiny friends, but I was taught from a very young age by my Mom, and my (size 2) sister that I was beautiful no matter what. We are all beautiful in our own way, in our own bodies. I learned to accept my body, and my curves. I have been an athlete most of my life, playing softball since I was 7 years old, so I have always tried my best to be fit and healthy.

When and how did you become a plus-size model?

My sister has been a successful working model for as long as I can remember. Yvette encouraged me to become a plus-size model, and set up a meeting with her Portland agent, Justin Habel at Q6 in 2003. I took a few polaroids, and I was booked for my first runway show within a week. I started testing with photographers in Portland and Seattle, and I have been a working model ever since.

What do you think of the perception that Plus-size models (or people for that matter) are unhealthy and lazy?

I think that is insane! Just because you are plus-size that does not automatically make you unhealthy or lazy! Stereotypes like that are so hurtful! I had my doctor tell me the other day (after seeing my lab work) that I am one of the healthiest curvy people he has ever seen. It doesn’t matter that I am not skinny. I am healthy, and incredibly active!

I’ve gathered from my research that you are comfortable with your body and have accepted your biology…what lead you to this acceptance?

It honestly has a lot to do with my family, and the way that I was raised to feel beautiful no matter what. I also have a partner who thinks I am the sexiest person in the world, and she tells me so every day. I am not going to pretend that I have always felt this way, because I have my bad days where I am not comfortable with my body. There are some days I wish I could squeeze into a smaller size, but I know at the end of the day I am beautiful inside and out.

How did you get on “The Biggest Loser-Couples Edition”?

I sent in a videotape, auditioning on my own, and was approached by producers to star in their first Couples Edition. My then fiancée was the smallest man ever cast on the show (he literally only had a beer belly weighing only 240 pounds). He went on the show to support me and my dreams.

What was that experience like?

It was an amazing roller coaster ride. I lost 70 pounds in 5 months, and went from a size 18/20 down to a size 10/12. It was a whirlwind of grueling workouts, cameras, producers, talk shows (I even got married on “Inside Edition”). I loved every gut-wrenching second of it. Looking back now, though, in my heart, I knew I wasn’t supposed to marry him. I was just caught up in it all, and I was with someone who loved me with all his heart.

When did you come out and how did that come
to be?

Looking back now, I have been gay from the day I was born, but I didn’t actually admit it to myself until I was 30. After being with my husband for almost 7 years (actually married for over 3), I ended up having a crush on a girl I played softball with. It was the first time I actually admitted to myself that I wanted to “be” with a woman. Rather than act on it, I told my husband that I had a crush on someone. His first questions was, “Is it a guy or a girl?” I ended up separating from him while I went to therapy to figure it all out. I wasn’t sure if I was Bi or Gay. Up until that point, I had only been with men. I had never enjoyed being intimate with a man, and my therapist told me that I wouldn’t actually know I was gay until I slept with a woman. – Boy, was she right! During the separation (after which, my divorce quickly followed), I fell in love with the first woman I ever kissed. Up until that point, I had just thought something was wrong with me. As soon as I realized I was gay, everything made so much sense. I have never been happier with my love life. The only real downfall to coming out has been the fact that I no longer have a relationship with my father and step-mother (after coming out to them in July 2009). It broke my heart, but that is their burden to bear, not mine. I have enough love and support from the rest of my family.

Who is and how did you meet your “future” wife?

Vanna Pecoraro is my future wife, best friend, and the love of my life. I actually met her through performing in Portland. I first saw Vanna performing in Drag as Emilio in the Fall of 2008, and I was blown away by her talent and sexy stage presence. We ended up officially meeting and becoming friends in the Spring of 2009. Our friendship ended up turning into love at just the right time in both of our lives. Vanna is a Retired Police Officer, born in L.A., but raised in Argentina. She has been such an incredible sparkle in my life, and I am the luckiest woman on the planet!

Tell me about your girl group you sing in, where do you perform, who are the members etc?

I am so ridiculously proud to be a member of The B.B Dolls! We are a plus-size performance troupe (think plus-size Pussycat Dolls) who have stamped our name onto Portland’s performance art scene. We are proving that sex appeal and attitude exist regardless of size. The members are: myself, founder Danielle Ward, a.k.a. “Stellah”, and Tamra Scanlan, a.k.a. “Talulah”. We sing, dance, and perform our hearts out! Please come see us perform! We perform all over Portland and Vancouver at such venues as The Egyptian Room, Holocene, North Bank, The Bite of Oregon, Portland Pride. You can find The B.B. Dolls on Facebook, or for bookings, please contact bookings@TheBBDolls.com

How long have you been singing?

I have been singing since I was a kid, but this is the first time I have sang in a group, and I love it! Being in The B.B. Dolls has given me such a love for music again. Being surrounded by such talented ladies as Danielle and Tamra is pretty inspiring. Those girls can blow!

What does the future look like for you and your career?

On the home front, in addition to playing Softball all summer, we are planning an intimate wedding for 08/28/10. We will follow the wedding up with trips to Vancouver BC, Hawai’i and Argentina, then we are planning on starting a family. As far as my career goes, I am going to continue to model and perform. The B.B. Dolls show schedule looks pretty full over the next few months, and I am going to enjoy the ride! Having such a full and rich life has distracted me a little from writing, but I do plan on finishing my book this year. I am going to try to inspire other people to love themselves no matter what, one person at a time!

You can find The B.B. Dolls on Facebook, or for bookings, please contact bookings@TheBBDolls.com

Today, Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.), Chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee, applauded China for ending its ban preventing those with HIV from traveling into the country. Kerry co-authored legislation and led the successful effort to end a similar ban in the United States in 2008.

“This is a evidence that when the United States leads with our ideals, the world takes the power of our example very seriously. We fought hard to end our own unwarranted, unjustifiable HIV travel restriction, and now China has taken the same step,” Kerry said. “I urge other nations to follow this example by striking down any law that unjustly discriminates against HIV positive individuals.”

Mayor Sam Adams received approval form the City Council to use “savings” from Portland’s Big Pipe sewer project to jump start the Bicycle Plan for 2030. There’s one problem though: the true savings won’t be known until the project is finished. As reported by Willamette Week, the sewer project is expected to increase in cost by 45% because of recently found cobbles and boulders at the site. (Which is odd, isn’t that to be expected when excavating?)

The Bicycle Plan for 2030 is overseen by the Portland Bureau of Transportation, but the funds come from the sewer project. Which means that rate payers will be footing the bill to pay for these bicycle boulevards. Do you approve or oppose this move by the city?

For further information on these projects:

Video on the use of bioswales in Portland
 
The City’s Green Streets program page
 
Link to a video produced on the nexus between bioswales and bike infrastructure.
 

I sat down with Basic Rights Oregon’s (BRO) Executive Director Jeana Frazzini and Development Coordinator Juan Martinez to discuss what their strategy was for the 2012 election in Oregon, regarding marriage equality. This interview was done just as the Prop 8 case in California was kicking off. After discussing id Magazine and what we were looking to do, we jumped into our discussion:

id Magazine: Our theme for our issue is “Gay Marriage…Where Oregon is Headed” and we thought BRO would be the best place to start. Mostly because we’d like to shed light on your strategy and answer a few questions the community at large has.

Jeana Frazzini: I think it’s really timely, especially considering that just this week the challenge to Prop 8 in California kicked off. It’ll be interesting to follow it, as that process unfolds. It’s definitely going to be a long process, as we have learned from our own marriage court case here.

I don’t know if you know that Juan and his partner Byron were the lead plaintiffs.

How was that, it must of been pretty trying.

Juan Martinez: It was…it was something that I had never done in my life. To be outspoken about my life, you know my personal situation, my relationship. To tell our stories to a wider audience. This whole thing started in 2005, which is when we agreed to sign on as plaintiffs. It made me nervous at first, but Byron and I talked and talked about it over and over again. We both agreed this was an opportunity to stand up for what was right. To take this chance to help make a difference in any way that we could.

Because he and I are committed as a couple and we want to have the rights that come along with marriage equality. We truly believe in that and we won’t settle for anything less. We love each other so much and we want to take care of each other in every way that we can. so that’s why we stuck it out for the four years the lawsuit took it’s course. It just wrapped up the beginning of last year, when we were denied appellate level.

Frazzini: It’s interesting because the fact that the Oregon Supreme Court refused to hear the case Martinez vs. Kulongoski is in part in answer to your question, how did we land at the decision to appeal the marriage amendment in 2012, the decision and the timeline is because of what’s possible here. Last year, it was incredibly exciting to see the progress that was made, just by some of the setbacks around the country. Places like Iowa where there’s marriage equality now and Connecticut, New Hampshire and so forth.

In Oregon we have our own unique path, we don’t have the opportunity to address the issue in the courts. That door closed to us with the Martinez case being refused by the Supreme Court. We don’t have a legislator that can do this for us, it’s enshrined in the constitution that marriage is between one man and one woman. So the only way to undo that is with a public vote. The voters are going to have to amend the constitution to create marriage equality. That is something that has not been attempted anywhere in the country, to bring a proactive marriage equality measure will be something new.

It’s always been on our opposition’s timeline, it’s always been in the heat of having to defend ourselves; whether it was the marriage amendment in 2004 or any of the awful anti-gay ballot measures that faced in Oregon for 20 years. This is really the first time where we get to lay the groundwork and do this on our terms. It’s clear that, for us, it is important to take the time to lay a strong foundation of support, to not rush into a political fight when we know that in order to change people’s hearts and minds, they have to have this space and the opportunity to have heartfelt conversations with the people in their lives about why marriage matters; what it means to care for someone, to love and commit to somebody for the rest of your life, and to do the tough work of changing hearts and minds so that we get to a place where we’ve got the majority of the public in Oregon behind us.

2012 is in some ways trying to strike that balance of the urgency of securing the freedom to marry for our families, and at the same time to taking the time necessary to do that in a way that we know we can succeed. There are also considerations like the fact that it’s a Presidential election year and you get a much stronger progressive turnout at the ballot during a Presidential election year. The work started in 2009, the conversations have begun, the community engagement is happening and we’re committed to growing that involvement substantially this year. Getting to the point where we can collect the signatures to put it on the ballot starting in 2011, we’ll need to start that process and see it through to 2012.

Byron Beck, right, Juan Martinez

Frazzini: Well we’re striving to, you know, we are a statewide organization, and I say that knowing what a challenge it is to fulfill. Given the economic times, we’ve been impacted like everyone else so we have left a couple of key positions open that we’re now hoping early this year to refill one of those positions is our organizer based in Eugene. We have volunteer teams in five counties; we have organizers who are assigned work that touches pretty much every region of the state. I travel the state a couple times a year; we do both community events that are kind of a garden party series. We also meet with editorial boards of newspapers; we work to get out to all of the Pride celebrations that are happening around the state. It will take engagement in every one of our 36 counties to run a proactive ballot measure campaign on marriage equality.

One of the questions I’ve had is how are we going to flip the message from a religious battle and flip it on it’s ear and approach it from being a human rights issue?

Frazzini: I think that the way that we address, first of all we have for far too long we’ve let our opposition define what the position of communities of faith are. We need to lift up the voices of fair-minded communities of faith and there are plenty that recognize the full humanity gay and transgender people.

Yes! We see them in the Pride parade: probably the largest section of the parade.

Frazzini: Yeah, waves upon waves of them, I know! It’s wonderful. The truth is that this issue is not about winning a logical argument or debate; it’s about connecting with people with the values we all share. It’s about love, it’s about commitment, it’s about that marriage says we’re family like no other word. Marriage establishes a child’s place in the world. We have not had the honest conversation about what marriage means outside of a political battle, so people have made decisions about our lives based on political rhetoric and being forced to choose on the marriage amendment in the span of three or four months. What we’re talking about is in some ways incredibly revolutionary and very challenging, which is: Folks, we’ve got three years before this question comes up as a political yes or no question.

We’ve got to take the time starting now to start the conversation and to say to the people in our lives who – we maybe don’t know where they’re at on this issue or maybe we’re afraid and we know they’re not with us and we want to change that – it is up to each one of us whether we’re gay or straight for our loved ones and our allies, our friends and family who are not LGBT identified who get that this is an issue of fundamental fairness and it’s about love. We need to have those conversations so that the people in our lives are making a thoughtful decision knowing what it means to us in advance of a political decision on a ballot campaign.

Martinez: This past summer we had the opportunity to knock on doors to have conversations, face-to-face conversations with voters here in Portland, in five counties. I was working in the Metro area here, and it was interesting to have conversations with people who come from very traditional religious background saying to me that, “Well, marriage, marriage is a religious sanctimony (this should be sacrament, but if it’s a quote and you want to leave it put (sic) after it)…” and this and that. Just taking the moment to ask them, “So it sounds like you really care about the ability to take care of your family, to love the ones that you love and to provide for your family any way, shape or form.”

We need to make that connection, to make them understand that we want the same thing that everyone else has and wholly deserves to have. So it was interesting, they weren’t saying, “Leave my doorway,” they were taking the literature and saying, “You know what, I’m going to think about this. I still hold my position, and I appreciate the conversation.” That was my experience and that is what gives me hope that this educational campaign has what it takes to really change hearts and minds.

Frazzini: Yes, and I think at the same time it’s important to emphasize that the freedom to marry does not in any way, shape or form interfere with the freedom of religion. Today if you had a Jewish couple knock on the door of the Catholic church and say, “We want to be married in your church,” it’s fully within the church’s right to say, “I’m sorry, but we will only provide a marriage ceremony for folks who are members of our church, our denomination,” right? So that would apply with allowing same sex couples the right to legally marry in Oregon, it would change no church’s right to say, “This is not within our beliefs, we can’t perform a marriage of a same sex couple.” Nothing in the freedom of religion would change should the change to fully recognize our families. That’s a critical distinction, because there is a clear difference between marriage within the context of a religious ceremony and marriage within the context of the legal rights and responsibilities that our government controls.

Yes, and I recall many times hearing friends, celebrities etc. say, “Oh I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that our commitment is for real. It’s just a piece of paper.” Now, I understand as do a lot of the public, no it’s not just a piece of paper. There’re tons of rights and privileges that come with it. There are what, 2,200 rights it grants married couples?

Frazzini: I can’t recall, but I think on the state level it’s about 500 and the federal level it’s about 1,200 legal rights and responsibilities that come along with it. It certainly differs a little bit from state to state. It is significant both in terms of the legal protections, but also the respect and dignity that comes with marriage. The truth is that marriage is not for everyone, the issue overall is not necessarily the top issue for everyone in the LGBT community, that’s really clear.

The bottom line is that it is an issue of fundamental fairness; it is an issue in which it is one of the few remaining places in law where there is an explicit law exception where one group of people is treated differently under the law than another. That’s not to say there’re not all sorts of forms of discrimination that continue to persist in our society from racism to classicism and ageism. But this is about it when you look at the letter of the law, we’re saying as a state in our constitution that everybody enjoys the same rights and privileges in the State of Oregon, except for same sex couples and their families, somehow your commitment doesn’t meet the muster, and that’s not right.

Do you think that…I know with Maine one of things that came up was that quite a few bloggers and people were upset by the fact that the National DNC didn’t do more to help that campaign. I know it differs from state to state on how much support you get, but do you think because it’s a Presidential election that we will have a spotlight on us and we will get that support we need?

Frazzini: Right. I think that I am concerned at what I understand was the case in Maine, where the organizers on the ground for the national democratic party were not engaging in that campaign. It’s something that as we look to build the strongest possible coalition for the work here in Oregon that we’ll be working to build relationships and find ways to partner. Whether it’s with the DNC groups or our partners in Oregon progressive movement more broadly. I will say that we do have strong support within Oregon’s democratic party, there’s already strong support at the state and county level. We’re seeing marriage equality resolutions passed by the boards, which is really exciting.

I don’t expect, this has got to be a community effort, there’s not one organization that’s going to take care of this. It’s a community responsibility and that goes for at the organizational level and the individual level. I think we all have a personal responsibility regardless of how we identify to right this wrong. I think we will continue to see this effort build and gain momentum and see more visibility for the broad support that the freedom to marry has in Oregon. I think that’s what’s going to get us to a place where 2012 is a realistic time for a ballot campaign.

That is going to be the way this is going to be won, the one-on-one conversations, winning the hearts and minds.

Frazzini: Yes…Actually we have some incredible tools that we’d love to share with your readers, given your presence online, the ability to link to this stuff is wonderful we have the MarriageMattersOregon.org

id Mag: Yes! We found that…Thank you, we’re certainly sharing those with our readers. Thank you both for taking the time for us!

By Bret Wurletzer

In the first chapter of Portland gay community sports history, we explored the beginnings of the first organized sporting program for the men and women of our community.  Tom Giel had begun annual events called Terrific Tournaments.  Creating leagues was becoming a strong option. 

Tom’s objective was to create an event where people just “coming out” could comfortably go and not feel intimidated.  Having experienced a nightmare on his first evening in a gay bar, Tom hoped that he could provide alternative way for people to meet one another, other than in a dark, smoky bar.  That first evening of trusting someone, only to have them become threatening and forceful, left a nasty emotional scar that took years to heal and overcome.

The premise behind the establishment of the league was to create an environment that would allow people to enter a regular, well lit business with the intention of coming for a sporting event, not to cruise.  “You have to remember the time period in which we were creating this,” says Tom. “We had an ultra-conservative Mayor, Frank Ivancie, who had little love for the gay community and was even willing to send his own gay son to Florida to keep him from being a subject for the local press. People were paranoid. In the opening years of the league we didn’t even use last names, just first names and last initials.”

In 1979, Tom ran for the position of Emperor to further his design to offer the community more in the way of sports. Upon winning the position, he formed a committee of other interested individuals who wanted a variety of activities.  Tom began by having his partner, Vaden, put together a one day ski trip to Mt. Hood.  What followed were roller skating excursions, pitch & putt golf, and even a campout on the Oregon Coast.  “You have not lived until you’ve seen the eyes of fellow campers, as members from your campout conducted their very first Swamp Queen pageant, complete with a bouquet of Skunk Cabbage,” said Tom.  “Watching the winner, Bertie Mae Heffer, and contestants parade through the campground in chiffon and high heels was a sight not ever to be forgotten.  It was actually early Priscilla Queen of the Dessert material.”

After a visit to San Francisco, attending the softball leagues in their city, Tom looked into starting Portland Softball leagues.  But with all his other responsibilities and due to the complications of negotiating park space with the hesitant city, Tom decided to concentrate on the bowling league.
 
During the 80’s the league became the place to go on Sundays.  Even the counseling centers, Phoenix Rising and the Center for Sexual Minorities, began recommending the league for those individuals looking for a more casual way to meet new friends – those too frightened to come out in a bar scene.

Having literally gotten the ball rolling, Tom began once a month leagues from January through August. Eight sessions total.  And when the season ended in August there was always a party.  After two years the leagues became so popular that it was switched to every other weekend from January to May.  The first season had ten teams with 50 bowlers.
In the first couple of seasons in ‘80 and ‘81, a banquet was held in the backroom of Dahl & Penne’s Bar at the base of the Morrison Bridge (where Bank of America tower is now located).  But by ’82, Tom acquired a contract with Oaks Amusement Park for an annual picnic in mid-May.  For the first time in our community’s existence, the gay and lesbian community had a amusement park destination where bowlers and their friends could go and enjoy the gay day. It was an amazing time.  We had enough bowlers in those days to warrant renting the entire park. Watching bowlers sniffing amyl nitrate and riding the Oaks Park bumper cars nonstop for hours was a side-splitting, hilarious experience.  The poor ticket-taker just watched in amazement, not knowing what to think.”

By 1985 the league was up to 300 bowlers.  There were so many bowlers that the league had to split into 3 sessions, twice on Sunday and again on Thursday evenings.
Tom began something else that was unique in the bowling environment.  Rather than have a league where only the top three won awards, Tom came up with the ideal of randomly drawing for four to five divisions in order for more bowlers to win awards.  It was Tom’s view that there wasn’t enough reward for gay and lesbian individuals within the community.  Typically, only the top three teams win trophies and special awards.  By the new arrangement, every member of the five member teams within each division, received a trophy.  With 300 bowlers that meant five divisions, or 45 trophies.  You may not be the best in one division, but you might be in the other division.  The random division draws continue to the current day.

Because this was a more casual league that loosely followed the American Bowling Congress rules, some bowlers struck out on their own and began another community league that was to be sanctioned.  Sanctioning meant that their scores and averages would be recognized by the national organization.  The Sunday PCBA continues to remain a social league.   
The difference was that on the Sunday League, bowlers didn’t have to pay an annual sanctioning fee ($16 currently).  If a Sunday bowler wished to bring a friend, a date, or even a family member in to bowl, even for just one event, there was no sanctioning fee as is required in a sanctioned league.  It remains that way even today.

The Sunday community leagues currently have a blend of both men and women of all ages.  They bowl on Sunday’s beginning at 3:30 pm and bowl three games, ending around 6 pm.  After 32 years, the league is still the cheapest entertainment league around at only $10.00 per week.

Most leagues run 30-32 weeks from September to April.  The Sunday league runs two short seasons of 14 weeks each – September to December, and then January to April.  Some bowlers like to camp in the good fall weather and don’t start until Spring, while others like to bowl the Fall and play softball in the spring.  The majority of bowlers bowl in both halves.  The league pays out to its bowlers twice a year as a reward for bowling. 

Instead of trophies that end up in garage sales, the Sunday League hands out actual U.S. Silver Eagle dollars in display cases.  They are dated by the year in which they are won.  When Tom began handing out the silver dollars back in the 90’s, silver was at an all-time low in the $6.00 range.  With the price of silver rising at the same level as gold, currently each silver dollar award costs over $23.   Rather than a box full of trophies, those individuals who have been winning for years, now have a valuable commodity that can only continue to grow in value.

In the mid-80’s Tom discovered that community bowling was not unique to just Portland.  An organization called the International Gay Bowling Organization was uniting gay leagues all over the country.  There were even gay tournaments that bowlers traveled around the country to attend.  Tom decided that Portland needed to be on the map of tournaments.  And thus the Portland Rose Bowl Classic International Tournament was born.  More on this story in our third and final installment of Sports History in Portland.

By Christian Messer Photography by Horace Long unless noted
Hair-Dryer Mafia: Hair by Spank, Outfits by Frock
Artwork by Whiplash Design

Mitch Bridon, opened Spank Hair Studio in 2004 in the bustling Alberta neighborhood. As with a lot of Portlanders, Bridon is a transplant from Michigan and loves Portland relentlessly. I took some time to chat with him recently to get his story and of course to introduce him to you. Full disclosure: I’ve been going to Spank Hair Studio since 2004 and Bridon and I have become friends since then, I was his client and then he in turn was mine, when I built his web site. We threw our history aside so you could get to know him just as I did many years ago.

id Magazine: I know you’re from Michigan – but give me a little bit of your background, where you grew up, when did you move to Portland etc.

Mitch Bridon: I grew up in a suburb right outside of Detroit, called Livomia. I owned a salon there for about five years. I just started out by assisting in a salon and then taking courses in England and Scotland at Vidal Sassoon and Rita Rusk. I sold the business because I wanted to move out of the state, and I moved here 12 years ago. I was here for a year (Portland) before my dad got in his car accident, and was paralyzed so I had to go home and take care of him. So, I lived back there five more years.

Then I came out here, and I was driving through Nebraska and a friend called me and they were eating at a restaurant across from where the salon is now. They told me there was a place for lease across the street and it was going to be my new hair salon. I told them they were crazy because I was already spending all the money I had to move out to Oregon and get established again…I certainly wasn’t going to have enough money to open a business.

When I got to Oregon, we went across the street to look at the building and I walked out in less than five minutes because the building was such a wreck. One of my friends was a contractor, so he took me back in and said, “You know what? Just pretend that this is going to be your business. Have a vision, and go around and tell me what you would want to do with everything.”

So I told him what I wanted to do, and he said, “We can get that done in a month, and we’re signing a lease.” It wound up taking us three months, instead of one month to put it together. My mother doesn’t have the concept of really what it’s like to open a business, so all she would say when she would call was, “Just open the doors and start cutting hair now,” so I could make money. So I said, “Well, you know Mom, I’m kind of a perfectionist and I don’t want it to be a sh*t shack, I want it to be really nice.”

So we did and the neighborhood was very supportive and curious and we did really well just because of the community. Then PABA (Portland Area Business Association) was a big supporter when I belonged to them…

When did you get involved with PABA?

Probably a month or two into the business. Pam Colton was the one who got me into it. I told her the only way I would go to one of those meetings is if I didn’t have to stand up in front of a group of people and talk. She assured me that I wouldn’t have to do that and within ten minutes of being in the meeting I had to stand up in front of about 75 people and introduce myself…and I wanted to kill her!

I can imagine.

But it took me out of my comfort zone, it took me out of the box, because I’m more comfortable doing one-on-one, I don’t like being the center of attention.

We got the business going, I hired stylists. It’s very hard to find people who are dedicated and driven. I think to keep the business going, I took like $7,000 out of my IRA. I myself didn’t take a check for three years. Then I had to take a check, but I just took…I was living on $600 a month is what I allowed myself on payroll.

It’s been six and half years and the business is paid off, so I paid off all the credit cards and loans that I had. And it’s just been fun…It’s the best clientele I’ve had in 23 years.

It’s still a struggle to find people who are good. Most of the people I find are good at what they DO, but there’s not a real strong work ethic. Portland itself is so transient with people moving in and then, not being able to make it or because they miss their family and friends, they often move back to where they came from.

There’s a pretty high turn over. I remember when I interviewed in salons twelve years ago a lot of the higher end salons wouldn’t let me fill out an application because I was out of state. Their experience was that if they invest the time and money usually with someone who is out of state, within a year they’re gone, and it was just a bad investment on their part.

That makes sense.

Well it does, but I didn’t know realize it until I got into the positions of being a business owner. What really is crazy, back in Michigan, the way a salon works is they are an employee of the salon and they get paid on commission so they get a weekly paycheck. Out here, the majority of the salons like to do a booth rental. Where the stylist is and independent contractor, buys their own supplies, and makes their own hours. I think if you have employees rather than booth renters, you have more control of your business, everybody’s on the same page, and it’s more of a team effort, instead of everybody being out for themselves.

What I get frustrated with is the young kids that come in, that they want a job and want to do booth rental, they either moved here form out of state and don’t have a clientele, or they’re right out of school and don’t have any experience and don’t have clientele; and where are they going to get the $200-250 to pay me for renting the station? So wouldn’t they rather work for someone on commission and get paid for anything that walks through the door, whether they get a $50 paycheck at the end of the week, or a $500 paycheck. They’re making something instead of going deeper and deeper into a hole by paying me $200 a week that they haven’t made.

It’s an interesting career. I loved it, I’ve traveled, I’ve met great people, I’ve met movie stars, worked on T.V.

Tell me more about your education, your schooling, you mentioned going abroad.

Well, what it was, when I went to school 23 years ago, the state paid for it because I was under 21, I think. At that time, tuition was a $1,000. Now the kids are paying $10,000 to $25,000 to get into the industry. Which I think makes it…you’re more serious about it if you’re wiling to pay that amount of money on an education. Whereas, a lot of people, $1,000 was nothing and they wanted to go work at Supercuts and Mastercuts. But, you can make a good career out of it, and you can make good money.

When I got out of school, I went and got a job at a salon and assisted for a year for the owner and then for some of the stylists. I did a lot of in-salon education, but then one year we went to London, to Vidal Sassoon. They are way more advanced over there, like in the fashion area than here…it was really grueling, we’d go to school from 8am to 6pm, and learn all these awesome cuts and we’d go home and show people all these new cuts and the new clothes we bought over in Europe and people would be like, “I’m not wearing that…I’m not getting my hair cut like that.” We’d just tell them within a year, this is what you’ll be wearing and this is going to be the trend.

A couple of years later, I went to Rita Rusk in Scotland. We were her first class in her new school. She was wonderful, we learned really great cuts…it was interesting to see how nervous she was, with us being her first class…somebody that is that established can be nervous and humbled. We learned a lot form her.

I’ve been to the International Beauty Show in London. I try to do a couple shows a year, a couple of classes a year. I just had a color class set up in the salon. I’m looking at going to a trade show in Las Vegas. One of my goals this year is to take some kind of cutting class in California…or maybe another country. I’ve been to Toronto, took a class on doing up-do’s through Mark Parsons and that got me over my fear of doing fancy hair for weddings, New Years things and parties.

I think that in this industry, to be regulated a little bit more, and I know that certain professions like nurses and teachers have to do ongoing education every so often. I think hair stylists in order to keep their license every year should have to attend a couple continuing education classes, because you don’t always know everything.

No – in business and in life, we’re all works in progress.

Right.

When you say color classes, do you host color classes?

We just had a color class for my stylists. We were looking at taking on a new line, which we decided not to do, because we like our line. I’ve used it for 23 years, it’s one of the best.

Speaking of which…what is that line of products?

Schwarzkopf.

Why is it the best?

The color is fool proof if you know what your doing, it doesn’t eat up the hair, it doesn’t coat the hair…their reds are amazing and their gray coverage is amazing. Their semi-permanent hair color covers gray very, very well. They have a great highlight series so you don’t have to always use bleach.

It’s funny, out here, because when I was back in Michigan everybody wanted to be blonde and highlighted so everybody looked the same. Here, I was at the window one day when we were getting the salon ready to open, and I was thinking, “I’ve never turned anybody’s hair blue, I’ve never washed dreadlocks, highlighted someone’s hair pink…how am I going to do this?” Again it was just one of those things where it took me out of the box and took me out of a rut, I just did it. It was fun! It was fun for me, it was fun for the clients and when I tell people back home, they just can’t imagine, because they’re so much more conservative.

I get that about Michigan with your stories…

Yeah…And right now we’re seeing a range of things in color, people are conservative, people are wild, people are wanting Japanese hair straightening but then again, people are starting to get perms again…we didn’t do perms for years. The scene is changing…you know what goes around comes around, but with a twist.

The one thing that’s funny is that when I was first doing hair, each stylist on average would do two to three perms a day. Now we do maybe a perm a month. The thing is, if my stylists don’t like doing perms – I’ll take the perm because they’re turning away a ticket. By not allowing yourself to learn and grow, and do new things, you’re just not going to make money.

Like if I did 10 haircuts in one day and booked $400…would I rather book a ten hour day and earn $400 or do a Japanese hair straightening in four hours and make $360? You want to be good with what you do, but you also want to…how do they say it? Not work harder, work smarter. Give a good quality service without ripping people off, but don’t break your back making a paycheck.

Who is the Japanese hair straightening for?

Anybody that has wave to their hair, curl to their hair or their hair is course and frizzy…it brings it down to perfectly straight so they don’t have to worry about using a flat-iron. Most times it leaves the hair in better condition than before you started.

How long does that last?

It’s permanent…the average growth in hair is about a half an inch in a month. So they’ll want to get a touch up when they have about three or four inches of new growth in their hair. It would be like every six to eight months.

How did you come up with the name Spank?

Oh, you don’t want to know this one…

(Laughing) Yes we do!

It’s not from what people think that’s for sure. Friends wanted me to name it after myself and I didn’t want to do that, and I wasn’t going to name it something super kitchy. So I was just looking around and it was raining and nasty…some people looked like they rolled out of bed and didn’t care what they looked like…and I just thought, “You know, I’m going to Spank the ugly off of Portland.”

At first I didn’t say it because I thought it would offend people…but now it’s on the business cards and stuff.

So that is the way you came up with it! We all wondered.

Yeah…and I love Portland, so nobody get’s the wrong idea! Portland is the funniest place I’ve ever worked and I do love the people. It did take me a while to acclimate, because it is so much different than the Mid-West…but I can’t imagine going back there, to work or to live. It’s the best clientele I’ve ever had.

What’s the biggest difference between Portland and the Mid-West?

It’s a lot more laid back, it’s not keeping up with the Jones’, not everybody competing for bigger and better and more and more…back in Michigan, it was buy a bigger house, get a bigger car…when I went back they were still building Hummer dealerships. Now I think a lot of people have learned their lesson, their houses are going into foreclosure, they can’t afford their car payment. I think people are becoming more simplified…they’re simplifying their lives.

What I appreciate here, of course, is the art scene and the ability to express yourself people don’t bat an eyelash…they don’t judge. People are just more politically aware, more environmentally aware…where as back in Michigan, if I try to recycle anything, they look at me like I’m a crazy. (Laughter.)

And…when I went back for my dad’s funeral, it was so funny…people would tap me on the shoulder and ask me, “How is everything in Denver?” I’m like, “I don’t know…I don’t live in Denver.” When they find out I live in Portland, they thought I lived on top of a mountain or in a corn field with nothing to do…(more laughter)

So I try to tell them how great the individual neighborhoods are, the downtown area, great restaurants, great shopping. I have a friend that just moved here and she works for Guess and she just loves the fashion that is here, and I have to say I do too.

It is pretty amazing…fortunately we already have a fashion issue in the pipeline for id Magazine…it’s incredible how many local fashion designers there are, and what’s going on in the scene right now.

Portland is a great place to come and be inspired.

Right…last questions here…what makes Spank different from other salons in the neighborhood?

The neighborhood is just so diverse, everything from salons to barbershops…to salons that just cater to the African-American community. I don’t usually judge other people’s work, but I think you get an extremely good quality for an amazing price. I think that we’re very personable, we’re not pretentious. We get a ton of referrals…people just don’t feel threatened, we don’t do things to people that they don’t want done. We communicate…communication is the big one. You’ve got to be willing to bend with the wind.

Do you travel back to Michigan twice a year or once a year?

I usually go twice a year, one year I went back several times within one year. I’m getting ready to go in about two weeks…every time I get back into the Portland International Airport, it feels like home. Michigan’s just desperate right now.

How’s the economy there now, has it changed, improved at all?

No…they just sold the Pontiac Super Dome which is was the home of the Detroit Lions. It’s on a 127 acres of land. I think they built it for $500 million, and they just sold it for $80,000…

Ouch!

Yeah…and people are upside down in their homes, I had a cousin who came out here to visit, and he loved it so much he wanted move his family out here. But when he got back to Michigan, he realized he couldn’t get what his house was worth, or what it used to be worth.

Yes, that’s a familiar story. My sister is in Las Vegas, and they’re stuck. They want to move out here but they can’t because they’d have to sell their house and can’t, not in this economy, or their economy anyway.

You know…It seems here has slowed down, I’ve had clients who are losing their jobs and clients who are losing their home, but it’s nowhere near as bad as back in Michigan. Michigan focused so much on the auto industry and wasn’t willing to make the changes that consumers wanted. At one point we were just dependent on lumber here, but there is so much more that moved in…you’ve got Nike, Adidas, we’ve got Intel. You’ve got small businesses, and small business is huge here, the city is really supportive. Like the PDC grant that we got to re-do the front of the salon. They don’t have things like that back in Michigan, and if they do, they don’t promote it. Portland is very protective of it’s people which is really nice.

I read somewhere that some of the stimulas money was going to Michigan auto factories to retro-fit them for green technology.

I haven’t heard anything about that. I just know that if I had tried to opened a business in Michigan, like the way I did here in Portland… It wouldn’t have worked. I would have lost everything.

Spank! Hair Studio is located at 1433 NE Alberta, Portland, Oregon 97211. Walk-ins are welcome, but they do suggest booking an appointment in advance at 503.280.5280 Frock Boutique is located at 1439 NE Alberta St. Portland, OR 97211 503-595-0379

Stress is a normal condition we all experience. Stress can be an outcome of a positive situation (getting ready for a party, first date, visiting a friend) and from a negative experience (job loss, fight with a partner, rejection). Stress is not necessarily a “good” or “bad” thing, what really matters is how we handle stress. Possibly one of the more stressful issues our community has encountered has been the passage of anti-GLBT legislation and ballot measures. Given the national reaction to the passage of Prop 8 in California, it can hardly be surprising that the impact of these measures is significant not only to our civil rights, but to our emotional and mental well being.

There have been some interesting findings in current research about the impact of anti same-sex marriage amendments have had on the psychological wellbeing of GLBT adults and their families. The January 2009 issue of the Journal of Counseling Psychology focused on advances being made in the area of research involving sexual minorities. Three studies in the issue focus specifically on the impact anti-GLBT legislation has on our families and on ourselves. These studies provide empirical evidence of the harmful psychological and emotional effects these measures have on GLBT individuals, their families and supporters. Feelings of being excluded from society and invalidation of their relationships were very common among GLBT individuals. Insecurity; both physical, financial and emotional were also strongly experienced by GLBT adults whose states have passed anti-GLBT legislation. Our families and community supporters reported feelings of worry and concern about the GLBT friends and family members. Furthermore, they felt ashamed and that their values were in sharp contrast with those who supported anti-gay legislation. They also reported feeling equally under attack and experienced rejection by others for being a GLBT family member. Some participants reported strong negative consequences to their mental and physical health and wellbeing.

First it’s important to understand how you experience stress; some of us may withdraw, others become fidgety and restless. What is important is that you have enough insight and self-awareness to know when you are stressed. Frequently, you know this by considering how your thoughts and behaviors are different when you are stressed and when you are not stressed. In order to determine how your thoughts and behaviors differ under stressful and non-stressful situations, you need to identify sources of stress. This involves learning your own stress signals. These signals are unique to you, others may be able to identify external signals of when you are stressed – or when they think you are stressed – but only you can be aware of your internal signals. Do you have a harder time concentrating? Do you feel tension in your jaw, neck, shoulders or elsewhere? Sex drive decreased? More irritable than usual? These are fairly obvious internal triggers. Take time to get to know yourself well enough to be aware of the internal triggers before the stress and your reaction to it becomes unhealthy.

In order to identify triggers, it is important to identify your sources of stress. Try to identify the sources as non-judgmentally as possible. If the loved ones in your life are a source of stress; that does not mean you don’t love them and enjoy their company. It simply means that, from time to time, the positive parts of our lives can be as stressful as the negative ones. Sometimes these sources are situational. Maybe you find something more stressful during a time of day or when you have too many other commitments to attend to.

Finally, recognizing how you currently deal with stress is as important as the other steps previously mentioned. Do you find yourself using unhealthy behaviors such drinking too much, or ‘stress’ eating? Perhaps previously constructive ways of dealing with stress have become unhealthy or just unhelpful. Unhealthy behaviors develop over time and can be difficulty to change. When adopting different, more healthful behaviors in response to stress, don’t let the process of change become a stressful event. The act of positive self-care is the best way of handling and reducing stress.

Seeking and maintaining positive relationships and social support can help mitigate the negative impact of distressing events such as the passing of Proposition 8 in California. Counseling from a professional counselor or psychologist who is aware of the impact these issues have on GLBT individuals and their families have in real terms can also be beneficial.
Effective strategies for dealing with stress and anxiety:

Most mental health and medical professionals agree that getting enough exercise and sleep help people deal with stress and anxiety. Just as you may schedule a date, an appointment with your doctor or therapist, schedule time in your day to get at least 30 – 45 minutes of exercise each day. This could be walking instead of driving taking a bus, using the stairs as opposed to the elevator and even sexual activity (when done safely) can help reduce stress.
As mentioned earlier, having positive relationships with others also helps people cope with stressful moments.

Studies have shown that people who have close friendships with others are both mentally and physically healthier. If you think about this, it’s fairly obvious. If you have someone you know you can turn to, knowing that you’re liked and loved, you usually feel better about yourself and the world around you. Openly communicating with someone that you are feeling stressed out or that you are experiencing anxiety about something builds trust, self-confidence and self-efficacy.

Developing and maintaining a healthy sense of humor is very useful. Not to suggest that you should make light of serious situations, but most situations which garner mild to moderate feelings of stress or anxiety may have a aspect to them that can be dealt with in a humorous fashion.

So, let’s say you have friends, a lover and can sometimes laugh things off but still feel overwhelmed by specific situations that create feelings of stress and anxiety. An effective strategy used in most therapeutic settings is called stress inoculation. Though it is a technique that should be done with a mental health professional for clinically significant symptoms of anxiety and depression. Here I will outline a simpler overview of stress inoculation for those experiencing milder forms of stress and anxiety.

1. Identify a specific situation or event that you frequently experience stress and anxiety. Common examples are talking to an ex, checking e-mail on Monday (or after an extended absence), dealing with difficult co-workers.

2. When you think about and experience the event, take note of your self-talk. Self-talk is the things we say to ourselves about another person, another event or ourselves. Chances are when you are feeling stressed or anxious, you’re probably saying things like: “I can’t do this.” “I hate having to do (fill in the blank)” “Why does this person have to be so annoying?” and probably other things.

3. Think back to similar situations that you handled well. If you can’t think of any, consider – in realistic terms – what you could have done better. Even one small lesson can impact how you handle a previously challenging situation.

4. Create a list of positive words or reminders of how you can face the challenging situation. Such phrases can be “I’ve handled this in the past and did well.” “I will do the best I can for this given situation on this given day.” Come up with positive, realistic and rational self-talk that can over-ride your usual negative or anxiety producing self-talk.

5. Studies have shown that when you visualize yourself in a situation ahead of time your performance improves. Mentally visualize yourself in the situation. Guide yourself through your thoughts, feelings, interactions and how you will anticipate and reduce anxiety producing situations.

6. When you are presented with the stressful event, remind yourself that you are already prepared. Begin by reminding yourself that you have handled similar events well before. Relax knowing that you’ve been through this, not only through previous events, but in your mind as well.

7. Once the event is finished, immediately focus on the things you did well, even if it’s small and to others insignificant. You create your own definition of success. Of course, pay attention to thing you could have done better. The whole thing about life is that we have opportunities to do things better. Don’t obsess on what you did wrong, just learn from the mistakes and acknowledge what you did well.

8. Create small, healthy rewards. Walk around the block. Stare out the window. Do something that is brief and rewarding.

These are some helpful guidelines for handling life’s everyday stressors. I hope you have found them helpful. I’m tempted to end this article with a “this is my first article with id Magazine” but that’s true for all of us writing this first edition. I’d like to close with how I envision this space will be used. I’m not going to be the advice columnist, we have one and Mike will do a fabulous job. My goal is to look at the issues that impact our emotional and physical well being, check out the research and make it applicable to our everyday lives. I look forward to working on the evolution of id Magazine and my portion of it.

David Devine, MS is Mental Health Clinician with the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority in Richmond, British Columbia. A former Portland, OR resident he received his MS in Psychology from the Pacific Graduate School of Psychology and his BA from Reed College.

Byron Beck, left, Juan Martinez

I asked Martinez about the ordeal, the toll it seemed to take, and what was it like as an experience.

Martinez stated, “It was…it was something that I had never done in my life. To be outspoken about my life, you know my personal situation, my relationship. To tell our stories to a wider audience. This whole thing started in 2005, which is when we agreed to sign on as plaintiffs. It made me nervous at first, but Byron and I talked and talked about it over and over again. We both agreed this was an opportunity to stand up for what was right. To take this chance to help make a difference in any way that we could.”

Martinez continued, “Because he and I are committed as a couple and we want to have the rights that come along with marriage equality. We truly believe in that and we won’t settle for anything less. We love each other so much and we want to take care of each other in every way that we can. so that’s why we stuck it out for the four years the lawsuit took it’s course. It just wrapped up the beginning of last year, when we were denied appellate level.”

The last part, of the first quote is often overlooked (by those not involved) by the LGBT community. Martinez and Beck, among others saw it as an opportunity to stand up for what was right. For four long years their lives were engulfed in this case. Though they were lead plaintiffs Martinez and Beck were not alone, the other plaintiffs included: Dan O’Neil, Steven Kenison, Rupert Kinnard, Scott Stapley, Marc Acito, Christina Caravaca, Sandra Naranjo, Michelle Snyder, Heidi Thorstad, Diane Groff, Liz Cahill, Tim Smith, Kebt Kullby, Kelley Burke, Dolores Doyle, Daniel E.H. Bryant and Glenna Shepard.

Beck used his best tool, journalism, to give the Oregonian a wake-up call when they wrote in their editorial that (paraphrasing), the last thing Oregon needs is another battle over same sex marriage (meaning the Martinez vs. Kulongoski case.) Beck was at Willamette Week during this time and replied to them in his Queer Window column:

“A small item about the arguments was buried in the “Around the Region” section. But it was the O’s editorial board warning Basic Rights Oregon it “should be careful what it wishes for” that made me angry. Although the unsigned piece said, “Editorial pages are not in the business of telling judges how to interpret the law,” it went on to say we have no business going against the will of the voter. And if we were to overturn Measure 36, on what they see as a “technicality,” our opponents would mount another “bitter” campaign and defeat us by an even larger margin. In other words, the editorial board believes we should settle for less, rather than alienate fellow Oregonians,” he wrote.

Concluding he stated, “I ask you, did that kind of crap work for civil-rights workers in the South, women who wanted the vote or those radical American Revolutionaries? “Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue,” said Barry Goldwater, an old fart if there ever was one.

The Oregonian’s board of white, well-to-do (and nearly all married) nay-sayers doesn’t have a clue when it comes to knowing what is good for gays or any other minority. I’m not going to even get into the argument that they’d never dare say this to another minority. I’m just going to clarify the facts. The main arguments in this case, that Measure 36 is so sweeping as to be a “revision” and that it altered more than one part of the state constitution, are not technicalities; they’re based on the fundamental principle that no one’s rights can be taken out of the constitution by the voters. Furthermore, if we win, there will be no more ballot measures like Measure 36. Period. End of discussion. That’s all, folks. I know the editorial board is pushing for civil unions, but Juan and I want to get married. No one should deny us our constitutional right.”

Oddly enough, people in our community don’t know about this battle, nor do they know it took four years, only to get denied by the Supreme Court. These people sacrificed their lives, personal and business, and had to deal with the stress and obstacles that the case bore onto them. Without this case, we would not be where we are today. We would not have known that a court won’t work for us, and BRO’s new strategy may have not been a reality. Now we know, and finally we can be n our way to put this to bed, for good. We owe them a thanks of gratitude, and though many have already done so in the past, we should thank them again regardless.

Thank you for doing the hard work necessary for our community’s battle for marriage equality. We can’t imagine what those four years were like for you all, but we do know it must have taken a toll. Thank you for being courageous and expecting nothing less than marriage equality.